Screenplay
EXT.PARK PICNIC TABLE - DAY
TERRA sits at the picnic table, staring off. She's just got her basket of food on the table, but she pays it no mind, too focused. She takes a glance to her side.
TERRA
You’re staring at me, Mickey. I don't appreciate it.
MICKEY
Well. Pots and Kettles.
We pan over to MICKEY. Upon reveal, he's a stuffed animal.
TERRA
That's not the full expression. It's "The pot calling
the kettle black."
MICKEY
Same difference. You're a hypocrite, mate.
MICKEY looks at what she’s looking at. Several other stuffed animals on a blanket a little ways away. ( They are referred to as A, B, and C ) MICKEY knows she’s staring at them, and now that TERRA know he knows, she stops staring, and begins awkwardly fiddling with something on the picnic table
MICKEY
You gonna approach today? It's been a while.
TERRA
Nope not in a million years.
MICKEY
But you want to.
TERRA
But I won’t.
MICKEY
Because you-
They speak in unison now
TERRA and MICKEY
Don’t want to embarrass yourself [ myself ] in front of people on a different planet and risk looking like a stereotypical socially inept alien who has one friend.
TERRA
Yup, spot on.
MICKEY
Am I the 'one friend' in that scenario.
TERRA
In every scenario, friend.
MICKEY
Gotcha.
TERRA
Although…
MICKEY
Although?
TERRA
I WOULD like to know these guys. They seem to like everything I like: The same foods, same shows, same music even! Which is cool considering, you know, different planets.
MICKEY
Weezer does transcend galaxies-
MICKEY cuts himself off
MICKEY
-wait you know this HOW?
TERRA
Same way I know anything, I stalk them on social media instead of talking to them.
MICKEY
Maybe you are a socially inept alien? Perhaps?
TERRA
Perhaps.
MICKEY
But I mean, if you like them that much I think you should go up to them.
TERRA
So you think it’d go well?
MICKEY
Oh no I didn’t say that, there’s very much a chance that it goes horribly horrifically wrong.
EXT.BLANKET ON GRASS-DAY
We lead into a black and white filtered dream sequence. A, B, and C are sat on their blanket when TERRA approaches
TERRA
Hey so, I can’t help but notice we like a lot of the same things, so, I dunno, I was wondering if-
A cuts her off
A
Oh my god it wants to be friends.
B, next to A, retches glitter over the table
B
Oh my god, it looks disgusting.
A
Why are there so many tiny offices on your face? That’s weird. You’re weird.
TERRA stands there dumbfounded. Now C speaks up.
C
Why are there nasty flesh tubes where your nub feet should be?
TERRA
Well, I-
She gets cut off again
B
Oh boy here it comes-
TERRA can't get a word in, as B continues retching
A
Why are you so large? How do you do tiny adorable picnic parties?
C
You’re a freak of nature!
C “spits” on Terra. It’s glittery.
TERRA
Ow! What does it BURN?!
The sequence ends. We cut back to...
CUT TO:
EXT.PARK PICNIC TABLE - DAY
MICKEY makes an attempt to ground TERRA back in reality.
MICKEY
Mate. TERRA!
TERRA
Please stop vomiting-
MICKEY
What?
TERRA
W-What?
MICKEY
You good, mate?
TERRA
Uh. I dunno. Do you think I have too many orifices?
MICKEY
The more the merrier, in my opinion.
TERRA
Was that sarcasm?
MICKEY
No.
TERRA pauses
TERRA
Was THAT..?
MICKEY
No! Cant you tell by my face?
She stares at his expressionless stuffed animal face
TERRA
I’ll be honest, not really.
MICKEY
That’s okay.
TERRA
So you think it’ll go bad but you also think…I SHOULD do it?
MICKEY
You’re twisting my words, stop twisting my words, woman! I'm assuming you’re a woman. I’ll be so real with you, I can’t really tell. I think I know how you feel, interaction with a foreign species is a little-
TERRA stops his rambles
TERRA
Mick.
MICKEY
Sorry.
TERRA
What ARE you trying to say then?
MICKEY pauses for a second
MICKEY
About earth human gender science..?
TERRA
What? No, about my social ineptitude. I mean, my social non-ineptitude.
MICKEY
I supposed it COULD go horribly horrifically wrong-
TERRA
Well been established, let’s move on.
MICKEY
But it could also go horribly horrifically WELL?
CUT TO:
EXT.BLANKET ON GRASS-DAY
We lead into another black and white filtered dream sequence that mimics the first one. A, B, and C are sat on their blanket when TERRA approaches
TERRA
Hey so I can’t help but notice we like a lot of the same things, so, I dunno, I was wondering if-
A cuts her off
A
You wanted to be friends?
A, B, and C speak in unison now.
A B and C
WE wanted to be friends!
A
Come sit with us!
B
No, no, let’s go get ice cream!
TERRA
Wow, that’s...
She's at a loss for words, but she manages after a second
TERRRA
Thank you! I-
C cuts her off
C
You have lovely facial orifices!
A
I love your flesh limbs!
B
I don’t feel like throwing up!
C
Go get your friend, ice cream is on us!
A
You’re not socially inept, in fact I’m slightly intimidated!
B
In a good way!
A
We can all get your favorite flavor!
TERRA
Wow, okay! Let's go!
The sequence ends. We cut back to...
CUT TO:
EXT.PARK PICNIC TABLE - DAY
MICKEY tries to get her grounded in reality once more
MICKEY
Earth to Terra.
TERRA
Huh? Oh. Hey.
MICKEY
Full disclaimer, you’re not really on Earth, I just figured you’d listen if I said that.
TERRA
Right. Have you noticed this planet looks like South Florida?
MICKEY
Who?
TERRA
It’s not a 'who', it’s...
She thinks about explaining before she thinks better
TERRA
Never mind.
MICKEY
So you’ve spaced out twice. Knowing you, you’re going through scenarios. Paint me a picture.
TERRA
Exactly like you said it would be Fifty-fifty.
MICKEY
You thinking in black and white?
TERRA
How do you mean?
MICKEY
Well, I know human brains tend to think in black and white terms, and exaggerate to the nines. I won't lie to you. It could go terribly. It could go awesome. But there’s a little more to it than that. Gray areas, you know? You could get a gentle let down, a gentle welcome, and enthusiastic welcome, an awkward let down. Or it COULD go how you imagined.
TERRA
So I guess it really isn't up to me then?
MICKEY
Nah.
There’s a silence.
TERRA
Glad I’ve at least got you.
MICKEY
I'm glad I've got you as well.
TERRA
YOU wouldn’t reject my friendship. YOU don’t spit acid glitter.
MICKEY
Where’d you get that idea?
TERRA
Dunno. Superstition about this planet maybe.
MICKEY
That’s kind of offensive.
TERRA
Oh is it? I'm sorry.
MICKEY laughs.
MICKEY
Nah, I’m messing. But utilizing it IS considered rude. And it isn’t spit, it’s digestive acid.
TERRA
Ew
MICKEY
What do you mean “ew” you’re just as gross.
TERRA
How?
MICKEY
Two words. Flesh tubes.
TERRA
Maybe we’re all a little gross. We can all be gross together.
MICKEY: Maybe
More silence
MICKEY
So?
TERRA
So?
MICKEY
You gonna go up to these guys or not?
Terra contemplates. It is implied she makes her decision here. We roll credits.
END
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