Screenplay

EXT.PARK PICNIC TABLE - DAY

TERRA sits at the picnic table, staring off. She's just got her basket of food on the table, but she pays it no mind, too focused. She takes a glance to her side.

TERRA

You’re staring at me, Mickey. I don't appreciate it.


MICKEY

Well. Pots and Kettles.


We pan over to MICKEY. Upon reveal, he's a stuffed animal. 


TERRA

That's not the full expression. It's "The pot calling 

the kettle black."


MICKEY

Same difference. You're a hypocrite, mate.


MICKEY looks at what she’s looking at. Several other stuffed animals on a blanket a little ways away. ( They are referred to  as A, B, and C ) MICKEY knows she’s staring at them, and now that TERRA know he knows, she stops staring, and begins awkwardly fiddling with something on the picnic table


MICKEY

You gonna approach today? It's been a while.


TERRA
Nope not in a million years.


MICKEY

But you want to.


TERRA

But I won’t.


MICKEY

Because you-


They speak in unison now


TERRA and MICKEY

Don’t want to embarrass yourself [ myself ] in front of people on a different planet and risk looking like a stereotypical socially inept alien who has one friend.


TERRA
Yup, spot on.


MICKEY

Am I the 'one friend' in that scenario.


TERRA

In every scenario, friend.


MICKEY

Gotcha.


TERRA

Although…


MICKEY

Although?


TERRA
I WOULD like to know these guys. They seem to like everything I like: The same foods, same shows, same music even! Which is cool considering, you know, different planets.


MICKEY

Weezer does transcend galaxies-


MICKEY cuts himself off


MICKEY

-wait you know this HOW?


TERRA

Same way I know anything, I stalk them on social media instead of talking to them.


MICKEY
Maybe you are a socially inept alien? Perhaps?


TERRA

Perhaps.


MICKEY

But I mean, if you like them that much I think you should go up to them.


TERRA
So you think it’d go well?


MICKEY

Oh no I didn’t say that, there’s very much a chance that it goes horribly horrifically wrong.


EXT.BLANKET ON GRASS-DAY

We lead into a black and white filtered dream sequence. A, B, and C are sat on their blanket when TERRA approaches


TERRA
Hey so, I can’t help but notice we like a lot of the same things, so, I dunno, I was wondering if-


A cuts her off


A

Oh my god it wants to be friends.


B, next to A, retches glitter over the table


B

Oh my god, it looks disgusting.


A

Why are there so many tiny offices on your face? That’s weird. You’re weird.


TERRA stands there dumbfounded. Now C speaks up.


C

Why are there nasty flesh tubes where your nub feet should be?


TERRA

Well, I-


She gets cut off again


B

Oh boy here it comes-


TERRA can't get a word  in, as B continues retching


A

Why are you so large? How do you do tiny adorable picnic parties?


C

You’re a freak of nature! 


C “spits” on Terra. It’s glittery.


TERRA
Ow! What does it BURN?!


The sequence ends. We cut back to...


CUT TO:


EXT.PARK PICNIC TABLE - DAY


MICKEY makes an attempt to ground TERRA back in reality.


MICKEY
Mate. TERRA!


TERRA

Please stop vomiting-


MICKEY

What?


TERRA

W-What?


MICKEY

You good, mate?


TERRA

Uh. I dunno. Do you think I have too many orifices?


MICKEY

The more the merrier, in my opinion.


TERRA
Was that sarcasm?


MICKEY

No.


TERRA pauses


TERRA
Was THAT..?


MICKEY
No! Cant you tell by my face?


She stares at his expressionless stuffed animal face


TERRA
I’ll be honest, not really.


MICKEY

That’s okay.


TERRA
So you think it’ll go bad but you also think…I SHOULD do it?


MICKEY
You’re twisting my words, stop twisting my words, woman! I'm assuming you’re a woman. I’ll be so real with you, I can’t really tell. I think I know how you feel, interaction with a foreign species is a little-


TERRA stops his rambles


TERRA
Mick.


MICKEY

Sorry.


TERRA
What ARE you trying to say then?


MICKEY pauses for a second


MICKEY

About earth human gender science..?


TERRA

What? No, about my social ineptitude. I mean, my social non-ineptitude.


MICKEY

I supposed it COULD go horribly horrifically wrong-


TERRA

Well been established, let’s move on.


MICKEY

But it could also go horribly horrifically WELL?


CUT TO:


EXT.BLANKET ON GRASS-DAY

We lead into another black and white filtered dream sequence that mimics the first one. A, B, and C are sat on their blanket when TERRA approaches


TERRA

Hey so I can’t help but notice we like a lot of the same things, so, I dunno, I was wondering if-


A cuts her off


A

You wanted to be friends?


A, B, and C speak in unison now.


A B and C

WE wanted to be friends!


A

Come sit with us! 

B

No, no, let’s go get ice cream!


TERRA

Wow, that’s...


She's at a loss for words, but she manages after a second


TERRRA

Thank you! I-


C cuts her off


C

You have lovely facial orifices!


A

I love your flesh limbs!


B

I don’t feel like throwing up!


C

Go get your friend, ice cream is on us!


A

You’re not socially inept, in fact I’m slightly intimidated!


B

In a good way!


A

We can all get your favorite flavor!


TERRA

Wow, okay! Let's go!


The sequence ends. We cut back to...


CUT TO:


EXT.PARK PICNIC TABLE - DAY


MICKEY tries to get her grounded in reality once more


MICKEY

Earth to Terra.


TERRA
Huh? Oh. Hey.


MICKEY

Full disclaimer, you’re not really on Earth, I just figured you’d listen if I said that.


TERRA
Right. Have you noticed this planet looks like South Florida?


MICKEY

Who?


TERRA

It’s not a 'who', it’s...


She thinks about explaining before she thinks better


TERRA
Never mind.


MICKEY

So you’ve spaced out twice. Knowing you, you’re going through scenarios. Paint me a picture.


TERRA

Exactly like you said it would be Fifty-fifty.


MICKEY

You thinking in black and white?


TERRA
How do you mean?

MICKEY
Well, I know human brains tend to think in black and white terms, and exaggerate to the nines. I won't lie to you. It could go terribly. It could go awesome. But there’s a little more to it than that. Gray areas, you know? You could get a gentle let down, a gentle welcome, and enthusiastic welcome, an awkward let down. Or it COULD go how you imagined.



TERRA

So I guess it really isn't up to me then?


MICKEY

Nah.


There’s a silence.


TERRA
Glad I’ve at least got you.


MICKEY
I'm glad I've got you as well.


TERRA
YOU wouldn’t reject my friendship. YOU don’t spit acid glitter.


MICKEY

Where’d you get that idea?


TERRA
Dunno. Superstition about this planet maybe.


MICKEY
That’s kind of offensive.

 

TERRA

Oh is it? I'm sorry.


MICKEY laughs.


MICKEY 

Nah, I’m messing. But utilizing it IS considered rude. And it isn’t spit, it’s digestive acid.


TERRA

Ew


MICKEY

What do you mean “ew” you’re just as gross.


TERRA

How?


MICKEY

Two words. Flesh tubes.


TERRA
Maybe we’re all a little gross. We can all be gross together.


MICKEY: Maybe



More silence


MICKEY

So?


TERRA

So?


MICKEY

You gonna go up to these guys or not?



Terra contemplates. It is implied she makes her decision here. We roll credits.


END


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